It's so hard to figure out how to exercise when you know you need to exercise but you don't feel like it at all.
My head knows that exercise will help me feel better. But my fibromyalgia makes me want to scream in pain from the tiniest of things. Stretching definitely feels the best, but it's like all that flexibility I had ten years ago has just vanished from my body. I can hear the bones crunching in my back and neck. My feet and legs constantly hurt.
I try to do little things. A few minutes of yoga before bed, taking the dogs for a short walk, dancing when I'm the mood. But most of the time brain is just consumed with the thought of how to not be in constant pain all the time.
I need to retrain my brain. That is going to be difficult. But I miss the activities I used to be able to do, that I took for granted: a long hike, a game of tennis, chasing my nieces and nephews around.
Start slow they say. Okay, so I do. And then I will have a bad migraine or oversleep or not sleep enough.
Part of physical health comes from mental health and I know right now I need to work on mental health in order to get back to physical health. Where I want to go on walks again. I think most of America can relate to the word "depression" right now. Forced away from beloved activities and friends, worried about our homes and jobs and lives. Some people deal with this stress by exercising. Allegedly it gives you some sort of endorphin rush? I guess I never even realized I was experiencing it when I was experiencing it.
So tonight I will try again to do my stretches and ypga before bed and hope that maybe tomorrow. I can do better.
