Fibro fricking myalgia

 

It's so hard to figure out how to exercise when you know you need to exercise but you don't feel like it at all.

My head knows that exercise will help me feel better. But my fibromyalgia makes me want to scream in pain from the tiniest of things. Stretching definitely feels the best, but it's like all that flexibility I had ten years ago has just vanished from my body. I can hear the bones crunching in my back and neck. My feet and legs constantly hurt.

I try to do little things. A few minutes of yoga before bed, taking the dogs for a short walk, dancing when I'm the mood. But most of the time brain is just consumed with the thought of how to not be in constant pain all the time.

I need to retrain my brain. That is going to be difficult. But I miss the activities I used to be able to do, that I took for granted: a long hike, a game of tennis, chasing my nieces and nephews around. 

Start slow they say. Okay, so I do. And then I will have a bad migraine or oversleep or not sleep enough. 

Part of physical health comes from mental health and I know right now I need to work on mental health in order to get back to physical health. Where I want to go on walks again. I think most of America can relate to the word "depression" right now. Forced away from beloved activities and friends, worried about our homes and jobs and lives. Some people deal with this stress by exercising. Allegedly it gives you some sort of endorphin rush? I guess I never even realized I was experiencing it when I was experiencing it.

So tonight I will try again to do my stretches and ypga before bed and hope that maybe tomorrow. I can do better.

            

My bed, my best friend.....

Not actually my bed... only in my dreams!

The 100% honest truth about me is that I am an absolute contradiction. I love the outdoors, but I hate to be outside. I love recycling, but don't believe in global warming. I love to exercise, but I hate to sweat. Or expend energy. Or really move.

This being said, I really did used to be a person who exercised and expended tons of energy. Softball and hide and seek growing up, hiking and hooping as an adult. I ran two miles every day for an entire year. I used to work at a gym! I have an absolute passion for hooping, obsessively watching new videos to learn new tricks. But you wouldn't know that to see me now.

Maybe it's true, the old adage I heard growing up about people stop caring about their looks when they fall in love. I've definitely seen evidence of that. I more so think that it's when you have the added responsibility of loving someone else and you start neglecting yourself. At least that's my excuse for the 43 pounds I have put on the past six years since I started exclusively dating my now husband. 

You see, probably like a great many of you, I spend most of my day running around doing things for everyone but myself. Nine hours of work, followed by taking care of our dogs (my children), his elderly disabled mother, washing clothes, washing dishes, folding clothes, taking out the trash, making dinner, etc etc etc. And this is what women thought they wanted when they were told they could have it all! Lol! (Whole different blog on that soapbox subject!) By the time that I actually get a few minutes to myself (and I, probably much like you, can never get even a moment of pooping or showering time alone. Someone is always poking their head in or pawing the door), I am so mentally exhausted that I literally just want to lie on my bed and watch reruns of "That 70's Show" on Netflix. 

However, I made myself a very solemn vow that this year I would start regaining some of my old athletic glory. Chicago in the winter is just much too cold for the early morning runs that I would prefer. (There's nothing like a nice runner's high and I can't wait to get back to that spot!) And after I'm already showered and in bed, I don't care to get super sweaty (hate that anyway) again. I just want to chill. 

I've probably already let it be known that I am a huge proponent of yoga. I was sick at the new year, so my attempts to exercise were all yoga-based. That was great. I felt better and I even lost a pound. Not a huge victory in most cases, but in this one it was. One pound. And I wasn't even trying really. No extreme diet changes. I'm sorry, I'm going to die of something one day and if I happen to have a Twinkie in my mouth when that happens, good for me! I had done absolutely no cardio. I walk up and down the stairs in my office building because I think that's enough cardio: four flights up and down at least four times a day. Just yoga.

Being as lazy as i have become, but realizing that simple "Happy Baby", "Cobra", and the inevitable Corpse Pose weren't going to help me get back down to a healthy weight, I decided to go old school and just added some good old leg lifts, scissors, and circles to my routine. And I didn't even have to get out of bed for that! Cool, I thought. I can still be lazy and still exercise. I added in a 30 second plank (well, now I'm up to 30 seconds, I started at 15). I was really coming up with the world's laziest exercise program!

A few days ago, I remembered that we have an overabundance of resistance bands at our house, thanks to my husband's mother and her many surgeries and rehab stays. I decided to add these resistance bands in to my lazy girl exercises. I went to the doctor on money and I was down another three pounds! Still no change to my diet (because if I want to eat half a bag of Doritos I by God will), still no more cardio, just all lazy girl exercises. I finally figured it out.

I'm building my excitement for exercise back up!

It's so hard to get excited about exercising when it's sleeting outside and there have been over 100 wrecks due to ice in the Chicagoland. When you have seasonal affective disorder combined with bi-polar personality disorder that leans heavily on the side of major depression, sometimes it's a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning. (That's a different blog as well!) But these tiny little victories have shown me that no matter how sick or tired I am, if I take just a few minutes to basically just stretch, I can be healthier. More so that I can care about myself and my health. It's okay to be selfish about that.

I'd love to do a video so that I could show you guys my "super lazy girl" exercise routine, but my computer is still down since it's drenching at the hands of Hurricane Nate on the night of my wedding. Hopefully it will be back up and running soon and I'll post videos of routines I come up with. In the mean time, I've posted this infographic of some lazy girl exercises. You can also check out my "Let's Get Physical!" Pinterest board and the Hardcore Healthy Facebook page for more ideas.

As lazy as you be and still exercise!

How do you motivate yourself to move when you don't feel like exercising? Post your comments and share suggestions! Happy (not) sweating!

Hardcore Healthy

I do my best thinking in the bathroom and I was thinking last night. I have a picture of myself that I call "My most confident picture". It's the picture that I personally feel is the best looking picture of myself. I was thinking about this picture as I was showering last night. In this picture, I am probably in the best shape of my life. I look pretty smoking hot.

My "confident picture"

The truth of the matter is that I was a hot mess when I took this picture. I was walking two miles each way to work, working on my feet for 8 to 16 hours a day. Three of my uncles had just died,month after month after month apart from each other. I was in a strange town with zero friends. I had just been through possibly the worst two years of my adult life, losing my daughter and having an abusive ex. The head space I was in when I took this picture was definitely not a good one.

But my boobs look amazing.

This picture is now almost seven years old. A lot has changed since I took this picture. I fell in love with a great man, we got married, I have three fur covered children now. I'm secure in a job that I do not have to walk to every day. Overall, I am 100% better than I was when I took that picture. But my body is not nearly as rocking as it was here. I've gained 50 pounds. My boobs aren't even a quarter that perky any more. But I'm happy.

So how do you measure the overall health you have? Mental or physical? Is there a way to balance out the misery that accompanied healthy body with the happiness that come from a healthy mind? 

That's my mission with Hardcore Healthy. It's not selling anything, it's not trying to make you stick to any special diets or meal plans. It's about balancing a healthy mind with a healthy body. I made it my goal in 2018 to do some sort of little work out every day to try to get back toward my healthy body. Starting the year off with the flu definitely didn't help, but I found a way to squeeze in some lazy girl exercising: leg lifts, yoga, whatnot. 

I hope to build a community of people supporting one another to live the happiest lives possible while being healthy. Do you have any health goals? If so what are they? Feel free to share your most "confident picture" as well and tell us what you think makes someone healthy and happy. Thanks for joining me on this adventure! See you next time!

Excuses, excuses...

So, since the beginning of January, I have been working out 28 minutes every day. Except Friday and Saturday.

I slipped up.

I should have just done SOME exercise. It's not like 28 minutes is a lot out of my day. It's less than one episode of Switched at Birth and I've watched all of those. TWICE. But I made my excuses. Friday I moved lights and twisted my ankle. Yesterday I was babysitting.

NO MORE EXCUSES!

There are no excuses for not exercising because there are a MILLION exercises out there to do. Not all of them are strenuous or taxing.

I think what I am slowly starting to realize is that exercising is a lifestyle choice, a habit. Like putting your toilet paper on the hanger with the end facing down or turning your forks upside down in your dishwasher.

There was a point in my life where I used to exercise all the time. I ran two miles in the morning. I worked at a gym. And I've never ever been skinny in my entire life. So I got discouraged. Life got me down. bad things happened and I started eating more. Or not eating at all. Or eating the most unhealthy things that I could.

And I stopped exercising. No more "I can workout for 120 days because Jessica Simpson did". No more Tae Bo. No more running. It's been all internet and television and Combos and pizza.

AND I fell in love. It's true what they say. When you get content and happy in life, you pack on the pounds.

So, today I'm going to exercise and I'm going make the decision to correctly. Because I can repair my bad habits. After all, I still have the good habits in there somewhere.

I look so friendly.....

Getting with the program...

For the past few years I have been saying this over and over again. 

"This year I will exercise."

It hasn't happened.

Maybe it's because I was in the honeymoon stage of my relationship. Maybe it's because I'm getting older. Maybe it's just because I'm lazy. But I just couldn't bring myself to exercise.

This year is different.

Why is this year different? This year i have an amazing group of friends, working to encourage and support one another in our goals. No judgement, just encouragement.

So far I'm starting out small. Some yoga. Push ups, squats, sit ups, and planking. That's it so far. But at least it's a start.

Now, time to go get my workout on!

Let's get physical...

That's the name of the Pinterest board where I keep pinning all my exercises that I would like to NOT be lazy enough to NOT do. So, inspired by my dear friend who said yesterday that she was going to try to be a better morning person, I decided that I could slowly start doing all the exercises on my Pinterest board.
 I started with this dream arm 10 minute workout. Turns out it was a video and turns out the exercises I did turned my arms in to jelly! I am now a dedicated advocate of this video. It's produced by Popsugar Fitness and the exercises are pretty simple, but my arms definitely feel the burn. Which is awesome because I'm looking for simple exercises that will burn the crap out of my fat. Also I have a goal to try and find exercises that I can do without much exercise equipment. I don't have very much room to exercise in my house right now (we're remodeling) and I certainly can't afford to go the gym.
Trust me, I would love to. The social interaction would be great. I used to go to Curves and I loved it there. I also worked at Women's Fitness Express and worked out there when I lived in North Carolina. I don't know why I am so unmotivated to exercise now. I really want to and when I find a great workout I feel excited. And now that I've felt the burn I feel elation building up inside of me, pride even, that I did something to take care of myself today.
So I've decided that I am going to start working slowly. I certainly have the motivation. I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love dearly. He deserves a healthy, beautiful wife by his side. And I want to spend as many years as possible with him. It took me forever to find him. And I also only twleve years away from being 44, which is how old my dad was when he died. As that age approaches, I become more and more aware that my time on earth is nearing it's end. I'd like to prolong my stay here as long as possible.
Anyway, I've digressed a few times. my whole point was TRY THIS WORKOUT!  you can find the video as http://www.fitsugar.com/10-Minute-Workout-Sexy-Sculpted-Arms-21620326. You can also find this workout and many more on my Pinterest board http://pinterest.com/holsrocks/let-s-get-physical/. Follow me there as I try to find out more ways to get physical!

January 2nd.... Trouble in Mind

Two days in to this and I already skipped a day. I didn't do it on purpose. We're remodeling our house and we had to maximize my boyfriend's last day off work to do as much as possible. By the time we got done, it was 10:55PM. I know that I really didn't have a valid excuse since some of these workouts only take a few minutes. But I think that climbing our stairs a million times should count for something. I did practice my planking time. I'm up to twenty five seconds, which is five seconds short of what the actual exercise called for. So I was proud of that. And I put a lot of work in to practicing my "corpse pose" from my yoga training. However, despite the fact that I did not do an exercise program, I did watch what I ate. It looked delicious and unhealthy. I ate a cupcake, baked spaghetti, and a roast beef sandwhich. I just have a terrible aversion to vegetables. I am a meat eater. And a cheese eater. I could eat Subway sandwhiches all day long because that's all they basically are. meat and cheese. Why can't I eat vegetables? I used to. I like corn. I like corn on the cob. I make a mean corn salad. But I don't even like corn lately. Does anyone else have a huge problem with vegetables?
I think it's also a mental kick in the ass that I need. I've become very bogged down by my lazy habits. And I know that I can change those habits. I've done it before. In 2005, I used to go to Curves in the morning, go to my swim class after that, then play badminton. And I had PE that semester every other day. But I was extremely healthy for those two semesters. Then I started working and I just got lazier. Now, as basically a stay at home wife, I am so lazy it isn't even funny. I need to get over that.
As for my goal of doing one random act of kindness a day, I gave our handyman some food. Granted, I usually do this, but I also don't leave my house very often to do any random acts of kindness out in the real world. But I figure this counts. At least this way he doesn't get sick because he is a diabetic.
So I know that I need to work on my motivation.